


Her Unending Journey

by aria_vitali



Series: Collections of History Unwritten [18]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canonical Character Death, Character Development, Character Study, F/M, Friendship, Hope, Humanity, Implied/Referenced Character Death, In-game quotes, Loss, Loyalty, Male-Female Friendship, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt, Self-Reflection, Soul-Searching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:15:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25459936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aria_vitali/pseuds/aria_vitali
Summary: You have found a journal belonging to the Warrior of Light, Aria Vitali. Within it lies the secrets of her heart, the truth of the events as they have unfolded. Turn the pages of a history written if you so wish, for where light goes, darkness is sure to follow. For joy and sorrow walk hand in hand.[Spoilers will be listed at the beginning of every entry; chapter numbers will be adjusted according to canon timeline. This series will follow canon lore.]
Series: Collections of History Unwritten [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1541752
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	1. On the Topic of the First: "The Sin Eater Attack"

**Author's Note:**

> **SHADOWBRINGER SPOILERS AHEAD**

_"—the battle was a ruthless one, in which I bore witness to countless lives come and go. With the young, there came fear; for they did not know if this first battle of theirs will also be their last. With the old, there came desperation, to protect the hopes of their children in this chaotic world seeking endlessly for their demise._

_I had found one, a youth, whom I knew was moments from breathing their last. With tears, they reached out to me, searching for warmth in the growing cold encompassing their bodies. As I had done once before to an old friend, I did the same for them._

_Then, I spoke to Lyna, who was collapsed upon the wall. Reporting all that I saw, all that I could do. Her grief mirrored my own, reminding me of how I once was many moons ago. A fain attempt to mask the pain, a shaken bid to rationalize the losses. Just as I had once done._

> _‘I...am fine! Completely...and utterly...fine! Better than fine! Hale and hearty and still alive to mourn those who are not. Who I failed to protect when they needed me the most.’_

_Her words echoed in the deepest part of my heart and I knew that that which watches within me stirred. The ‘me’ within cried out in chorus to her own, releasing the tears that I could not in front of this woman who feels the burden too keenly, too openly, too harshly._

> _‘We’ve come so far—so godsdamned far! I could have sworn the end was in sight. And now...Now they will never see it.’_

_And as we sat together, he donned to give us words from on high. The child who held himself as such, so ignorant and cruel._

> _‘The tragedy that has befallen you is of your own making. Divine retribution for your defiance.’_

_I remember looking up to sky, the beautiful starlit sky that I have made many promises under. I remember searching around me, at the despondent faces the surviving guard had as they questioned whether the choice they have made was the right one._

_I remember._

_I remember._

_I REMEMBER—”_

**[Written text in the following section are ineligible, crossed out and rewritten.]**

**[The corner and edge of the page are crumpled, worn, as if the writer had shed tears on the parchment and smeared the ink.]**

_“After I had my moment of weakness, I searched for Thancred in Spagyrics, as the captain urged me to. Thancred looked none worse for wear and I had offered to attune to my Soul of a White Mage to weave healing magicks so he would have a proper night’s sleep, but he would not hear of it on the account of Chessamile and the others having done what they could._

_Minfilia was no where in sight, which worried me as the poor girl is still learning much and more about the world. I feared this entire encounter may have been too much, but such is the way of life. Preservation of innocence is an illusion, as I have been made aware of many a time before..._

_...and so I searched for her. One part reminiscence and one part because I am not one to deny the man, who had watched out for me whenever and wherever my brother could not._

_I found her at the Trivium, staring into the water. As suspected, she was blaming herself for Thancred’s injuries; for being too rash, too careless. She was too much as I was before...before..._

_I told her that she could make up for his injuries by being there for him. Obviously, she was unsure; a girl as young as she should not have to wonder whether her faults would lead to the deaths of her comrades. She should not have to worry about losing one to death on the account of her weakness. But, in the end, she ran off with muddled thoughts._

_When I returned and donned the herbs to Chessamile, we resolved to see the Exarch, in which... in which a member of the guard approached us then._

_He asked of us to pass a message along to him, you see. The smallest of favors. Along with the dying words of his friend that could not make it._

> _‘I never knew that our world was this beautiful. I’m so glad that I got to see the night sky...’_

_But then, he said the most curious thing, one that I do not think I will ever let go. It is in this that I have put pen to paper. So that I will remember._

> _‘But I believe in the Warrior of Darkness. In the Crystal Exarch. I don’t think what they’ve done is wrong, and I don’t think we’re wrong to fight with them, either. My friend, he smiled in the end. Just as he smiled when he raised his glass to celebrate the return of the night. That’s how I want to remember him. So I... I want to tell the Exarch. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Please.’_

_I could not say anything in return, so I was full glad Thancred spoke on our behalf. I steeled my heart as I approached the Dossal Gates, as I stepped up the Tower to meet with the Exarch._

_And when I finally found courage to open those doors upon reaching the Ocular, I saw him. I saw him and he saw me...and he was smiling._

_...his words at first were as if he was attempting to reassure me. As if he knew this bloody business that constantly drags me within it all too well. To soothe the ache within my heart for what I could not do. And he blamed himself at the end. He blamed **himself** so I would not inflict the pain on my own shoulders._

_I struggled to deliver the words, but deliver them I did. It would seem that even he is not privy to wavering sentiments as he would like us—as he would like me —to believe. He accepted his role easily, that he would not lose himself to grief. Such stalwart conviction, an unconditional passion that he possesses is something to be revered. I certainly do._

_So I asked of him, ‘We have some time before the others arrive, if you would like to talk?’ in an attempt to share the burden._

> _‘...And if I were to confess any doubts I might harbor, no one need ever know? No, I believe you have enough burdens without my adding to them. Nevertheless... Thank you.’_

_I excused myself prior to meeting with the others. His words were so familiar, with a reminiscent voice that reminded me of someone long ago. I found a lonesome chamber in the Tower where I released my tears and spilled the passions the ‘me’ within my heart has been holding. It whispered words of comfort, but I could not be comforted then._

_Instead, I swear an oath._

_Dearest mother, dearest father and my cherished friends to whom I have lost along the way. I hope that you will find it within yourselves to forgive this foolish woman. For I have never wished vengeance upon someone so fervently since the day that Haurchefant was taken from me. Pray forgive this weak-willed soul, so overburden by loss and agony, that she may not lose her way as she walks her path.”_

**[The section has come to an end, but there are small scribbles written in the corner of the page.]**

**[As you lean in to decipher the words, you find markings written in another voice in response.]**

_“I won’t let you lose your way. In your darkest day, in the blackest night; think of me and I’ll be there.”_


	2. On the Topic of the First: "Restoring the Talos of Twine"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As you continue reading the journal, you find a brief sketch of a structure similar to, but not quite the same, as the golems found the ruins of Thanalan (in particular, those within the Sunken Temple of Qarn), at the beginning of the entry. Curiosity prods you to read onward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **SHADOWBRINGER SPOILERS**

_Our quarry had led us to Nuvy's Leavings, a mine a little south of Twine. Thancred and I knew what we were in for when we had pleaded Guthjon's assistance, but little did I know that we would be searching for a tiny gold coin in the darkness!_

_Fortunately, Thancred was well-prepared, carrying vials of sundrops that were able to assist in the search. I have scan't knowledge to how instinct works, but it led me to the furthest tunnel, to the furthest crevice and it was there that I found it._

_Upon my return, I had shown the item to my friend. He made jest, stating Lady Luck seemed never to be on his side, but mine. That he offered nothing more than poor company. So I told him, "Come now, Thancred. You were far more prepared for this task than I" for it was the truth! I would never have found it without his help, to which he answered that it was all a means to survive given his... condition following his escape from the Lifestream._

_However, there was one thing that he said that captured my attention:_

> 'So long as I have the means to protect those dear to me, and to see my duties through, that's all that matters.'

_Perhaps this is the reason why I could never say no to him. No matter his pain, no matter his heartache, he does what he must. For if he falters, would not all of us? He was a source of motivation to me from the first, but I fear as if he is in much more turmoil than he lets on. I can only be a medium to vent through, as we both feel the same way._

_But the choice does not belong to either of us. It belongs to the girl who bears her likened face. It is why we are journeying to Nabaath Araeng. There, she will decide. I can only do what I can in the fallout afterwards._

❅ ❅ ❅

_I wonder how these knockers eat. While I do not wish to slay the poor things, 'tis a matter of progression. I have been switching between my lance and my greatsword nowadays, but whenever I bear my Soul of the Dragoon, I oft think back to my brother-in-arms. Of when we traveled across the Forelands with Ysayle and Alphinaud._

_I remember the man's comment, that when he sought to master the dragoon's jump, it was not to implant fear on low-hanging fruit. His scowl was true, even under the drachen helm, and I could not withhold my subsequent laughter. The boy was fussing over me, but I knew better. He knew better. I beat him once before and he knew I could do it again._

❅ ❅ ❅  


_As we waited for Guthjon's inspection of our haul to complete, Thancred sought it fit to speak about Minfilia. Our Minfilia. I was surprised to learn that she herself was a miner, but after what I have learnt of F'lhaminn and her losses, 'tis to be expected. He smiled as he spoke of her and I could not help, but jest in kind. "Not your finest hour, to say the least," I told him._

> "Far from it—and F'lhaminn has never let me live it down."

_But suddenly his expression went serious, speaking of second chances, a chance to do things right, and that he will not squander the opportunity._

_I wanted to tell him. Tell him that he never 'ruined' his chances, no matter what he may think, but then Guthjon called out to us. We found the leonine needed to power the Talos... one fine specimen being among them. That was not all, for there was an engraving on the piece, as well._

> **'To my beloved Magnus and Skuli.'**

_We had found Agna's piece, her momento, and I swear my heart was fit to burst at that exact moment._

> 'She must've spent her final hours carving this message into the stone, in the hope that he might see it one day.'

_I felt the smallest breeze brush against my skin, leading me to gaze upon the mines once more. For some odd reason, I did not feel one presence, but two. Perhaps 'twas not only Agna that led us here, but Minfilia, as well._

_Are you trying to tell us something, my dear friend...?_

❅ ❅ ❅

_We showed Magnus the leonine. His face changed; the first since we met him. He allowed us use of it and though we attempted to offer an alternative, he urged us to take it. For we needed it more than he._

_He needs time. Time that we wish we had._

_When I saw the Talos spring to life, something within my heart stirred. Indeed, while I bear not the Dark Knight's crystal, I still felt the 'me' within shout in joy, in reminiscence, in memory. When Magnus came and beheld the work, there was a yearning that I knew all too well._

_Magnus, what your wife left behind... is her hope. Her hope that you will carry on her legacy and keep her close to your heart. I pray that, one day, you will learn this._

❅ ❅ ❅

> '—I dare not dwell overlong on my many regrets, for the world is a tapestry of fates, interwoven and inseparable, and we who strive to better it cannot choose but make difficult decisions. For naught of worth was ever achieved without sacrifice. And thus must man ever struggle to weigh life against loss—
> 
> —Were she here, she would not suffer thee to languish in sorrow. She would tell thee to seek thine own path, thine own purpose. It is a truth which I myself was slow to learn. Yet a truth it remaineth.
> 
> Thou needst but have faith. Have faith and all will be well.'

_As Urianger spoke to the girl, I asked if Thancred had words to give to her._

> 'Not today.'

_If not today, then I will pray that you will one day. I will pray for both you and for the little girl that has been living in our friend's shadow her entire life. That you both will, one day, learn peace._

_And feel the love she has for you in your hearts._

**[You have reached the end of this section. Proceed?]**

**Author's Note:**

> My passions spilled in the [Book Club](https://discord.gg/fh4dRgC) like a flowing river ;-;


End file.
